Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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