Is it normal to miss your booty call?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
