So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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