i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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