i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
