I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize