pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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