she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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