One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
