i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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