I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize