Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
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It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
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I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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