no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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