idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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