god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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