so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
