good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
