Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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