dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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