2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize