just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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