One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
