There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
