that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
