so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
