wrigley field is MILF paradise
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
This is classic penis vs brain.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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