Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
