How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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