all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
