On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
