with your own penis?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
