TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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