btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We need to get me chipped asap
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
