My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So many bounce houses so little time
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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