yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
