careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize