Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
