ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
