Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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