he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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