I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
