So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i dont even know how to be here
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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