is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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