So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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