They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
i think my cat just said my name.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
