I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
