? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
3 2 1 whiskey
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
