yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
