just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
