Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
