Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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