I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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