my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
