you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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