No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
