I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Actions speak louder than pants.
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I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
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i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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