So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
